Disruption Series. Honouring the Unravelling.
This week I'm talking about Honouring the Unraveling. This is the second post in my series about dealing with disruption in life. If you've missed part one, you can read it here.
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Hey. Welcome, back friends.
When life throws you a curveball it's not fun. It's discomforting and depending on the degree of disruption you're experiencing in your life it may feel like you can barely make heads or tails of what's happening.
Disruption is something that happens to us all. It will happen. And it's completely natural if you're growing, expanding ... and listening.
What is disruption …?
For all of you who know my love of language, let's take a look at its root to disrupt. According to the Merriam-Websters dictionary ...
1 to break apart: RUPTURE OR to throw into disorder
2 to interrupt the normal course or unity of
Yup. Yup. Yup. To all of the above!
When you get knocked off-kilter in life, it's not a one-size-fits-all sort of a thing. It can take the shape of a major event, like having a baby, contracting an illness, or the loss of a job, or if you're really paying attention, it can be as subtle as a shift in your natural energetic balance. Either way, when your life is disrupted, it's information. Information that you can take and use to make an informed decision about your next best heart-filled step.
“It’s a way that the cosmos is telling you something is out of alignment or incongruent, with the truth of who you are...”
Why does disruption happen ...?
(To wake you the f*ck up!)
Ha. Joking ... not joking.
Disruption although a pain in the ass. Is information for you. Directly from your soul. Directly from your body. It's a way that the cosmos is telling you something is out of alignment or incongruent, with the truth of who you are.
Let me say that again, it's the cosmos’ way of telling you that something is incongruent with the truth of who you are ...
It gets you to recognize a pattern in your life that you've been repeating that does not serve you.
It gets you to recognize where you are not honouring yourself, your gifts, your value and/or your worth.
It provides you with an opportunity to gain new awareness so that you can level up, if you choose, in your own uniquely beautiful way.
Disruption usually happens when you're not paying attention to the little warning signs that you're getting ... super small events, that act like annoying mosquitos that you're swatting away from your life ...
Beginning a New Journey.
When I left my full-time gig, little did I know that it would set off an unravelling, that would put me in touch with some of the deepest parts of myself and provide me with an inner knowing, belief in myself + trust in the bigger picture unlike I've ever known before.
I left and I had just jumped into creating my business. And there were many 'practical' reasons for that ... but what I really needed to do was give myself the time, space and permission to sit with all that I had just experienced. To reconcile what that experience had meant for me, specifically. To honour all of what it was, no matter how messy. To let that energy dissipate from my body, and be transmuted into something new. I had left a job that I had put my heart and soul into, where I worked to make fundamental changes to my organization, where my team was like my extended family. I worked hard and from my heart. Always. But let's be honest. I left because I was forced out. A situation had been created in my life that I could no longer ignore. That forced me to choose myself instead of settling for the current circumstances.
However, before I left there were signs that I tucked away into the 'later' pile ... like how different teams and/or people were treated within the organization for better or for worse, my level of engagement and how I was justifying the day-to-day activities of my job, how I was treating myself + my body ... Things that for me, for the individual I am, and how I operate, were things that were important and affected me deeply.
But you see, all of those 'signs' had escalated. When I had made my decision to leave, my workplace had become a toxic environment. It was no longer a safe place for me but had become a place where I experienced for the first time in my many years in the industry how racism can prevail in the workplace, how insidious it can be, how quickly the line between professional + personal relationships can influence a career, how isolating your world can become when the majority of people who surround you don't have an understanding of what it's like to be targeted in such a hurtful + specific way or are too afraid for their own well being to provide support in a meaningful way.
The beginning, middle, and the end (if there is an end ... ;D ) of this journey was tough. This experience was deeply hurtful. It was very painful. I questioned whether what I felt and how I was being treated was even happening at all ... I questioned the value + worth of who I was + what I did as a profession. From there the unravelling continued ... I questioned my path, I questioned those aspects of my identity that I thought made me who I was, how I worked, what it meant to follow my heart, who I surrounded myself with, how I treated my body and honoured my energy ... so many things were revealed.
“The unravelling can be painful but I have also to come to understand how beautiful the unravelling can be ...”
Honouring the Unravelling.
I tell you this because I hope you will understand how disruption can materialize in your life. I no longer bear any resentment to the people or the situation of that time. That experience has created this version of me, which is one beautifully empowered badass woman, who gets to share my experience with you. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I can’t get excited enough about that!
I have a love/hate/respect with disruption. The unravelling can be painful but I have also to come to understand how beautiful the unravelling can be, and if honoured, how the truth provided on the other side of that disruption can set you free and open you up to a whole other level of awareness about yourself. Personally, it has provided me with a strength, security, solidity and a love of self that I did not have before.
Embracing disruption in your life is a process. It's an unravelling. I won't say that I love it, but I have come to learn to recognize the signs when they're happening and have learned to soften my approach towards myself and towards life. There is no right or wrong way to experience or go through disruption, but your way, despite all the static out there …
... More on that in my final post on disruption, where I share some tips on some of the things you can do to honour your experience. Until then …
So …?! How have these reads been for you so far …? Are you thinking back on a past experience where you weren’t as present it as you could have been …? Perhaps, now that you’ve read this, your perspective has changed slightly on something that has occurred…? If you feel called, I would love to hear your thoughts. As always, I’m on the other side.
So Much Love + Peace To You All,
-j.