Disruption Series. Turning Pain into Power.
This week I'm talking about the great transmutation – turning pain into power. This is the third and final post in my series about dealing with disruption in life.
If you've missed part one — You Are Here. Resisting the Urge to Fix Life's Disruptions. You can read it here, and part two — Life's Disruptions. Honouring the Unravelling, here.
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Hey! Hey! Welcome back, peeps.
... When you are experiencing difficult times in your life, everybody will have all sorts of opinions and well-intentioned suggestions about how you can get through the current moment. It drives me crazy when I'm reading articles on social media with 'hard + fast' rules about how to cope with the current CoVid global disruption that the world is experiencing right now. At the end of the day, there is 'no right' way to experience chaos. The very word itself suggests just that. It's uncontrolled, raw energy, brought about to shake things up. However, if you're up for the challenge and are not about making like an ostrich in your life, this is when a new beginning can emerge. This is where you begin to hone your superpowers, level up, and create a different standard for yourself. This is you where you begin to turn all that pain into power, strength and wisdom.
So here are my suggestions, that may fly in the face of what you've heard or have been told. I know! I know! LoL Though, try not to see it as advice per se. These are merely suggestions borne of personal experience. Like the great Bruce Lee once said, 'Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless and add what is specifically your own.'
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Give yourself the time, space and permission to ... just be.
Whatever you're going through, give yourself time to do what you need to gain clarity. As much as you would like to skip to the end of this 'choose your own adventure', this/it will take the time it needs to take ... whether it be a minute, a month, a year or more. The time spent in this space is something you really can't control. What you can control is how you choose to be in each moment, from day-to-day. If there is something that you need to understand or have a deeper awareness of, it will take as long as it takes, as you are open to receiving it.
Give yourself space. There can be so much, unnecessary noise or peripheral static that can get in the way of your making an informed decision about the best next step for you. This could be anything from expectations from your family and friends, bloody social media, or old garbage belief systems that are coming to the surface about what you can + should be doing. If it becomes too much, just let it go.
Give yourself permission. To allow and sink into the process and really see where the unravelling is taking you, give yourself permission to honour the process... your process. An acceptance happens in the body when you formally acknowledge to yourself that this is what you're doing. This will open you up more to allowing yourself to receive what you're willing to receive.
Honour the body.
Your body is processing a lot during this time, whether you realize it or not. This is a time to be your own best friend. To be your most loving, most compassionate self. This is where the real education begins and is setting the stage for the next level of an understanding of yourself on a deeper, more intimate level. This is time to tune in + connect with what you truly need. If you're feeling exhausted, slow down, get more sleep. Don't push against it. If you're feeling like you're a big ball of nerves and just want to cry... do it. Let it out.
Ask for what you need.
Ya, I know. This can be a tough one. It doesn't matter who you are, this one thing can be difficult for anyone to do. Family or not. Responsibilities or not. Sometimes, you may feel like it's easier to just 'grin and bear it'. But we're not about that kinda pseudo toughness anymore, are we...? That's probably how we got here in the first place, ya?! As difficult as this may be for you, this is an important part of the process of honouring yourself going forward. You are resetting the baseline for so many things ...
Front Row Peeps Only.
During this time, you're clearing out the crap and getting clear on your best next steps. When your world gets 'flipped turned upside down' it's important, now more than ever that you keep your circle tight. An acting teacher once told me that you share your most vulnerable pieces with the people sitting in your front row first... or as Brené Brown would say, these are people that 'are in the arena' with you. These are people that honour, love and respect you. These are the people that have earned the right to be there. These are people that are your biggest fans, want the best for you, and are unafraid of truth talk, albeit with a huge dose of love because you'll probably need that right now.
And let's be real peeps, perhaps you’re in a situation where you don't have that tight circle of support anymore, there is no shame in seeking out professional support and resources. This about you, and what is best for you ... Always.
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Whatever it is that you may be going through... Whatever it is that you're faced with, as difficult and as painful as it may be, I do believe that there is a higher purpose in it. I’ve seen and experienced this myself, or I would not be here saying this to you now …If you embrace it and honour yourself fully in the process, the reasons for it will be revealed, and you will be all the more stronger, compassionate, and badass for it.
Well, that's all peeps! I hope that this series of posts has helped. It was my honour to share a bit of what I've come to learn, and now am passionate about guiding people through for themselves.
Much Love + Peace To You All,
-j
… I told you
That we could fly
'Cause we all have wings
But some of us don't know why …
Never Tear Us Apart, INXS