Chasing Mediocrity ...? What You’re Running Towards May Not Be What You Think!
Merriam Webster’s definition of the word ‘mediocre’
: of moderate or low quality, value, ability or performance: ORDINARY, SO-SO
To me, those words are like death. Who wants to be ‘so-so’?! Hells no!
I had a dream the other day, that has stayed with me. I literally woke up with that word in my mind — mediocrity. Lately, these experiences from the past have been randomly popping up in my thoughts, leaving me to wonder why. Usually, it’s a queue for me to take a beat and look a little closer ... there’s something there that I need to reflect on that’s useful for me at the moment … so here goes.
Acting. Acting has been on my brain a lot of late. When I pursued it, I loved it because I felt like acting was so much bigger than me. Don’t get me wrong … I don’t think every actor has this somewhat spiritual bent behind why they act, but for me, I felt I could use my body to truthfully tell the stories of these characters. There was many an hour spent, with a cup of tea, candles, sprawled out on the floor, classical music playing in the background breaking down these scenes as I began to unearth the stories behind these characters. I spent hours watching movies as a kid, squirrelled away in my room, sound way up (yup, surround sound baby, thanks pappy! xo). I remember being so affected by these great stories, and these great actors … I was learning – about people, about the world, about emotion, I was touched and felt so much more expanded by the experience. I too wanted to have that same impact. To be able to open the eyes of another person through the ‘simple’ act of telling of a story.
… With that perspective in mind, I look at where my life is now. The jobs that I’ve had, the things that I’ve done … and it’s not bad, but it’s not that … it hasn’t had that level of impact. I’ve had a very successful career as a Project Manager for many many years now and for that, I’m truly grateful. I’ve worked on some insane projects, and with some insane people - ha ;D that as a kid I never thought I’d be working on … but if I’m being brutally honest with you and with myself, it’s not what I wanted … but for all sorts of reasons — generational, cultural, societal, my ego, etc. I just kinda fell into this flow that wasn’t necessarily my own. I thought it was but it wasn’t.
I’m not making any excuses here, I take full responsibility for the choices I’ve made and the path taken.
“... where do you want to be putting that life force energy, that scared effin’ magical energetic signature that is uniquely you? ...”
Brass tacks. When you consciously begin to think about your energy – the things, people, situations that you’re choosing (or if we’re being honest, not really choosing) to put your energy towards and the finite time that you have here on this earth things begin to take on a different perspective, don’t they? Yes, there is the practical side of all of this (like ensuring that your basic needs are met, I get it), but where do you want to be putting that life force energy, that scared effin’ magical energetic signature that is uniquely you? For me, there has been many a situation where I knew, I KNEW ‘ya know, this is not the best environment for me to be in right now, or, why the heck are we doing this project …? It makes no sense … but just as soon as the thought came up, I filed it away in the ‘I’ll deal with you later’ pile, away with the rest of life's little ‘annoyances’ that try to get you to wake the f*ck up! There’s absolutely no judgement here, it’s so damned easy to make excuses, and to ignore these things when you’ve got bills to pay, and a family to take care of, or you’re making hella good money, so why would you want to mess with that right? … All things that lull you into the fog of your own life. And I’m just as guilty, the universe has sent me full on 300-page memos, all in caps, in bold writing, and I just put my head down, put on my blinders and sang ‘LA LA LA’ I can’t hear you at the top of my lungs! Hey – I loved the people I worked with, the money, I loved the autonomy I had to work on whatever I wanted and with whoever I wanted — …
“... BUT — when I think about the fruits of my labour energetically, my perspective changes … ”
BUT — when I think about the fruits of my labour energetically, my perspective changes …
When I think about sheer will that I used to get some of these things done … why? Do I even care, now? Meh … And if I was meant to use my energy in that way, would I have had to muscle it as it much as I did at times … Uhm. I don’t know. Perhaps, not.
And at what cost? My mind? YUP. My body? Double YUP. The badges of honour earned as a result of ‘pushing through’. Yup. Yup. Yup.
The point I’m trying to make is that when you are putting your energy towards the right things, you will know it in your bones, you will feel it. You may be absolutely exhausted at the end of the day, but the next day you’ll be refreshed + jazzed to get up and do it all again IF it’s truly worthy of your energy. You’ll feel good. You’ll feel satisfied. The mystery blahs + ailments will be a thing of the past.
“... By helping them connect to the essence of who they uniquely are so they can BE THAT and BRING THAT energy to the world, and own it. Embody it ...”
So … do I feel like I made an impact before this revelation? I do, somewhat. In the standard that I set for myself, in terms of how I was being, in terms of how I conducted myself daily. It was subtle, in most cases, but not necessarily intentional. THAT I can definitely proud of … now, it’s about taking that energy and making it so much bigger, brighter, intentional. I love to see what that big bang looks like! Ha! Yaaaassss!
Now that I’ve had time to take a beat, I no longer want to chase my version of mediocrity. I want to change the world by helping people become badasses in business — (f*ck that, badasses period!) by reconnecting to their body’s and what it is that truly lights them up. By helping them connect to the essence of who they uniquely are so they can BE THAT and BRING THAT energy to the world, and own it. Embody it. That’s how we turn this whole back-assward way of living around. ;D That’s how we change things, not only for ourselves but for others around us.
My heartfelt wish for you is that you feel empowered and fully expressed in whatever you do. So much so that you’re not living or working only to book your next vacation or to hit the weekend. My wish for you is that you feel and know that you’re respected and that you’re aware of + honour the power of your own beautifully spectacular unique energy … this is the new type of leadership I’m talking about. It’s not in your face, but it takes a person that truly values themselves, and their contribution in this world to harness it. Yassssss!
That is my wish for you, for the new year and for every other year after that … to stop playing to your own version of mediocrity.
Much Love, Shine brightly
-j.
p.s. So what are you running towards …? Do you feel like you’re chasing mediocrity …? I invite you to share a comment with me below, or reach out directly at jessica@jedge.ca. I’ll be on the other side + would love to hear from you.
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“... Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around ...”